Rage, as school hires SAN to defend teacher against pupil's sex accusation.

I am angry, a Nigerian school hires a SAN to defend a teacher against 3 year old's accusation of sexual impropriety. When I read that headline, I felt a heavy ball drop in my stomach. A potpourri of pain, incandescent rage , horror etc. I have been there, I was THREE.

I didn't want to write this, but I will do it for her, I will do it , because some people in the face of evidence properly collected, beleive that child is telling tales.
Someone said"He's such a good Christian man. Very dedicated Church worker, loves his kids".

All those qualities describes the teacher who locked my friend in the toilet every school day and forced her to perform fellatio on him. She was 5 years old then, I was 3 and I have never forgotten.
My saving grace, just as this child, was that I spoke quite well, have the memory of an elephant and an excellent relationship with my mother.

This was 80s.  He was our care giver. Early twenties, smart (according to the adults around me), hard working , caring etc.  I don't remember much before then. But I distinctly remember the day it began.
It was during bath time for my late older brother and muself.
"Do you know what this is?" The molester asked, pointed at my vulva and my brother's penis.
"It's our wee wee,"  I immediately replied.
"Do you know what it's used for?" He asked.
"To wee wee," I replied, confused.
He giggled. Can't forget that high pitched, asinine giggle.
"It has another use," he said. "Don't worry, one day, I'll show you."

I remember wanting to ask my mother what other use there was for our 'wee wee'. But child yhat I was, I forgot. Each day after that, this molester would ask us that question, get the same answer , laugh or giggle, and promise to show us what our private parts could be used for.
I don't know the timeline of this supposed grooming of his, but I remember the he made his move.


My parents were away at work, perhaps we were on midterms or some holiday, because it was in the middle of the day and I was sleeping.
"Baby," he said, shaking me awake, only my dad calls me 'BABY' , I thought it was him, so, I opened my eyes, my father was the bestfun dadddy a little girl could ask for, nothing could keep me asleep if he was home.
When I opened my eyes and saw who it was, I closed tham again, in my head I was a bit puzzled as to why he'd call me 'baby'.
He lifted me from the bed and carried me to the lobby, where we had our children's dining. I can still hear the sound of the chair scraping the floor as he pulled it out and sat down, then he lowered me from his shoulder, spread my legs and sat me across his crotch, "Baby, wake up," he said.

How can I forget that low heavy breathing? or the wetness of his lips on my forehead and lips? how can I forget the nurgency of his fingers as they parted my panties and fumbled around my vulve?  I can not forget how he said "Baby, wake up, I want to show you love."
Groggy, I opened my eyes, long enough to say "B* I want to sleep" That was when he pushed me slightly away from himself, reached down, pulled down the zip on his trousers and brought out his penis. I remember, because it was way bigger than my brother's.


I tell you, this sleep leave me when he reached down, pushed my panties to one side, raised me just so and tried that humongous penis inside me. The pain, I can not describe it, it was bad, worse than when I fell down and scrapped my knee, worse than anything before.

"B* stop, it's painful." I cried out. "I'm sorry my baby, but it's paining you because you're not opening for me, open your legs." these words were accompanied by a further spreading of my legs, even that, hurt.
He tried again, this time, I hit his chest. "Stop! It's still paining me," I said and started crying.
He said he was sorry and told me not to cry, kept on saying "Please open for me, just open for me."
"I'm opening, but it is painful." I cried.


How can i forget that sigh of frustration he heaved? How he said "OK, you are not ready for me, I will be using finger till you are ready, it's ok, don't cry again. Baby, stop crying."
I stopped because the hurt was stopping. He took me back to bed.

My mother usually returned from work before my father back then, she was working and going to school, caring for my brother who suffered from sickle cell anaemia, me and my younger brother, we were all under 5. But she always asked how our day went and actually listened.
She wasin the kitchen chopping up tomatoes, I walked in and quitely stoop beside her, "Nsido?" she asked, "what is it?''
"Mummy, what can we use our wee wee for?"
She turned and looked at me, "To pee, of course, what kind of question is that?''
"I told B* that it's for wee weeing but he said he will show me and Ini, mummy tell me, so I can tell him that I know."
Oblivious, I went on. "Today, he put his wee wee in my wee wee, mummy, it was paining me, so, I told him to stop."

I can't remember her expression, but can still feel the tremble in her hands as she turned, knelt before me, held my upper arms and said "What did you just say?"  I repeated the same words.
By now, she was shaking like a leaf in the wind.  "He....He....Oh God!! I'm finished" she whispered. "My child ooo...."
I thought I'd done something wrong. "Mummy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it."
"It's not you, my darling," she said, hugging me. By then, she was crying. She said I was brave "I'm happy you told me."
"you told me to tell you if anyone touches our wee wee." I said.


Unlike her friends, my mother didn't think sex education was too much for her toddlers.
Very early on, I knew the PANTS rule.
P - Private parts are private
A - Always remember that your body is yours
N - No means NO
T - There are no secrets from MUMMY
S - Say something, so I can do something about it.

Curled from EKETI's (@eketiette) TL on twitter.